Eclectic Living

I went to Donna’s wake. Thankfully she’d been cremated and was in a beautiful urn. There was a slideshow going on showing pictures of her from the time she was a little girl going up to recently. I remember her as that little girl.

I did get to see the family — I still consider them family — that I’ve not seen in years. I miss Joyce; I think I’ll try to go visit her when I finally get my car. She says she misses me too.

Renee was there and Carol didn’t want me to talk to her. I could see she was hurting badly over Donna’s death. Carol said I shouldn’t talk to her because she was upset. We ALL were upset. It’s a wake!

So I went over when my (ex)sister-in-laws were talking to her. They’re now her sisters-in-laws. And I hugged her and told her I was sorry and that I knew she loved Donna and I’d loved her too. And that I was glad they’d gotten back together. Then I told her I want to give her and Allen pictures — baby pictures of Allen and pictures of our kids and family. Pictures that I know he doesn’t have and would want. She said she’d prefer them in a stack and will scan them into her computer. Carol wants them too.

I wish we could be friends and that Allen would talk to me. Life is way too short for grudges and hurting each other. I loved him most of my life and always will love him and I loved her when we were friends. There’s still some love deep in my heart for her too inspite of everything. I finally, after all these years, managed to forgive her and even told her that. And I thanked her for all that she does for him. So why can’t we be friends? *sigh*

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